The One That Got Away
by the-warner-syndrome
Summary: Before Rinto died he told me to move on, but it's not as easy as it sounds. And when Len, a very handsome and annoying new guy, comes along everything in my life just becomes confusing. What's worse is that Rinto's past secrets keep on haunting me and the more I try to reach out to Len, the more he distances himself, and the more I'm drawn to him. (Len x Miku)
1. Prologue

**Intoxicated- Miku x Len**

_"When I first met him, he reminded me of that guy. The guy I once loved. The guy who is now dead. And now I'm afraid that I might lose this boy too. I'm suffering, I'm surviving. I am intoxicated."_

___After Miku Hatsune meets a mysterious boy named Len Kagamine, her whole life changes. The past that she never wanted to remember starts to connect with her. And everything about Len made her love him, which is bad. Very bad. Because he looks like him. Because he looks like Rinto Kanami, her deceased lover._

* * *

"You'll never leave me, right?"

He gave a painful laugh and put his hands up to cup my cheeks. With his thumbs he wiped away my tears. He wiped away my sorrow. He wiped away the anguish inside me... But it is impossible. How can he remove the one thing I never wanted to detach myself from? How could he remove the anguish if he's the one causing it?

"Yes. I will never." He breathed.

I held his hand in mine and intertwined our fingers. _My fingers will never fit anyone's like his_, i thought. _His hand was meant to hold mine, mine was meant to hold his. There is no else but us. _

He brought my other hand. "I. Will. Never." He said, kissing my palm after each word.

"Liar." Was all I could say.

He smiled and looked at me. Pleaded to me. _Don't make me feel bad. _

"I may be a liar, but not when it comes to you.

I will always be here, got that? Okay. I'll always be here..." He placed his hand on my chest, gesturing to my heart. "And here," He placed my hand on my head. "And always here."

He squeezed my hand and kissed me. It was painful. It was not enough. It was never enough.

When we pulled back I noticed tears flooding his eyes.

"Always here. Never going to leave you, got that?" He said as he wiped his tears. "God I'm bad at these kinds of things. I'm bad at making you feel better. I'm bad at saying good-"

"No!" I shouted, and placed my hear on his chest. "No. Just, no. Don't say goodbye. This isn't goodbye..."

He laughed. I felt his body shaking. "Y-you're right... This isn't goodbye."

We kept silent. Because we didn't know what to say anymore. Because we didn't want to talk about what happens next. Because we don't want to think.

We just want our freedom. A chance to love each other without all the anguish.

"I love you. So stop godamn crying and smile for a change, baby." He laughed.

He was smiling. He was crying. He's starting to lose control of his emotions, and I have lost mine ever since I met him.

My lips slowly turned up to a smile. The smile I always gave him. My true smile. The smile that is now intoxicating me.

Intoxicated. Yes, I am intoxicated.

_"I love you too, Rinto." _

He died the next day.

And he left a note-two notes-before he died. Before I last saw him breathing.

**_There will always be someone there to hold you. Someone to hug you, kiss you, tell you everything is alright. Someone to love you. _**

**_I was him. Was. _**

**_I'm not asking you to forget me, I'm asking you to move on and find that someone. And if possible, I'll do my best to make him get closer to you. I will tell him what you love and what you need. I'll tell him to never hurt you or else he'll be sent to hell. _**

**_So smile, my Miku. Smile and never stop smiling. _**

**_Never (well not never) look at the past, but look at the future. Make mistakes, be imperfect, be sinful as long as you are you. As long as you never stop being Miku._**

**_My last words, as promised... _**

**_I love you. _**

**_Rinto Kanami_**

It was raining that day.

The thunder was as loud as my body falling to the ground

The rain as heavy and fast-falling as my tears.

And I knew that after the rain. After all the troubles and pain, there will always be happiness. There will always be the sun.

But Rinto, my love, when will the sun appear?

**...**

The second note; the second letter. I had to read it a few days after his funeral. I don't know why, but I decided it should be like that. That it is best to read it after... everything that happened. Rinto and I always had that special telekinetic feeling. That everytime we gave a note to each other, for special reasons, we knew when to open it or if we actually should.

**_I'm probably, I hate to say this, dead by the time you read this so I can't actually fathom my feelings and my emotions. _**

**_Remember when I told you I wasn't ready? To tell the truth that is. _**

**_Well I'll tell you now. _**

**_But since I'm too ashamed of myself to be writing every sin I committed, every mistake I made, I decided that we should play a game. _**

**_10 places with 10 items. _**

**_Find it before next year, before my first death anniversary... _**

**_And once you know everything, he'll tell you who I am. _**

**_Let's begin! _**

**_First clue: To actually get the gist (and I don't even know what that means) of the game, here's an easy one:_**

**_I was afraid to get it back, to risk hurting myself_**

**_It was raining already. It was already torn apart... _**

**_'To hell with it,' I said and you laughed. So I went all the way up to get it back._**

**_Because it was our piece of memory, because it was the first thing we shared together. _**

**_The first day we met each other. The first place we met each other _**

... And his final words on this paper, his handwriting was already shaky. The words were blurred out, either it was tried to be erased or something wet washed the ink away. But I could still read it. I could always read it.

**_I love you, _**

**_Rinto_**

* * *

**My last words, as promised, **

**I shall return! **

**I'll be restarting my fanfic life. So this'll be my first fanfic even if it's my tenth. So yeah**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

There are times in your life when you try to block the thought you never want to appear in your head by overlapping them with other thoughts. At first I didn't understand why—why people wanted to shut out whatever it is that haunted them.

But then I understood.

After Rinto's death I promised him (somehow. Or maybe I didn't) that I would _try_ to fall in love, at least. His death wasn't much of a worry for me, but the funeral was the thing that bothered me.

I rarely cry, except when I'm with Rinto. I didn't cry when I injured myself, I didn't cry when I had my first break-up with Rinto. . . I didn't cry when he died. So I cried before he died. But never the latter.

Funerals aren't my thing. It isn't anyone's thing, but I had to go and watch all those people—his friends, schoolmates who barely knew him, his family—grieve and speak words of wisdom, wishing him eternal peace wherever he is. But what's the point in grieving? He'll never come back, he'll never hear those words, and I am positive he's better off wherever he is; he no longer needs to endure the pain, he doesn't need to suffer.

Rinto, well, Rinto was a great guy. Captain of the basketball team, salutatorian and all that. He always was—_is_. Is a great guy. You won't see him ignoring others, whether they're geeks, bitches, or downright goths or emos. He's the president of the student council, and I. . . well I was the vice. I was his partner-in-crime. Despite the fact that he and I would always fight for the highest position or to be placed first in whatever event, we still loved each other and the world doesn't give a damn to us like we don't give a damn to the world. It was him and me.

And everyone questions me: _What was the great Rinto's cause of death, oh Miku? _That I never knew. . . And I'm afraid to find out.

Six months passed since then. Everything went back to normal, but many still remember him. I have nightmares of him every day. But these nightmares and memories of him are what keep me sane—the fact that the boy who loved me and the boy who died with a mystery was the very same one, and he existed. He may not have existed long enough, but he existed.

"Miku,"

Six months passed and I never tried to find the clues he gave me. Never even tried to look at pre-dating with Miku. For fear he died with regret lingering in his soul. For fear of the truth. . . The truth, sometimes, kills. And I can vouch for that.

"Miku," The high-pitched voice repeated, snapping me back to reality.

"_Hmm?_" I look at her, rub my eyes and give a lazy smile to the blond girl who stood in front of my desk, whose hands are placed on her hips. "What is it, Rin?"

Rin. . . Rin Kanami was Rinto's sister, or in other words, his twin. She's been my best friend before I got together with her brother. It didn't actually disgust her or anything. She was happy as long as he and I were happy. Sad story, though, is that she herself doesn't know her brother's past. Damn that boy.

"You've been spacing out the whole day!" She fumed, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. Like she knows why I was doing so. "It's almost lunch and Meiko-sensei already gave us an early dismissal in her class."

"Oh," I stood up, unhooked my bag from the desk and slung it over my shoulder. "Sure. Let's go."

She blocks my path to the exit and my body slams her small one, but I'm the only one who says "_Oof!_" . This girl may be small but she's a tough cookie.

Her eyes still had a hint of sadness, and I could feel the tears being held back. She bites her lower lip, to stop it from trembling. "You're thinking of him again, Miku."

I exhale a sigh and comb my fingers through my teal hair. "You know I can't not think of him, Rin. It's hard to forget a boy who's forgiven you of your sins, yet never told his. He's a freaking mystery. God, Rin, he's. . . he's haunting me."

"I know you just can't forget him, Miku. He's left too much in this world; he's left some sort of permanent stain in all of our lives, and you're the one he's stained on too much. Sometimes I wished he didn't. But not wishes can all come true," She closes her eyes and grins. "Damn you, Rinto." I laugh at her and the smile on her face widens, but her eyes don't change.

"You can't move on, I can't move on. But the world, even if it can't or _doesn't_ want to move on, it has no choice. God, I hate talking deep. Can we. . . Can we just eat? We can look for the clues—"

"I don't want to look for the clues," We walk out of the room and I shake my head. "I don't want to play his game; I've had enough of them. . . I just want to know his past, okay. I want to find a way to let him forgive me." We reach the third floor, the rooftop, and I stop my tracks.

"He can't forgive you because you have nothing to apologize for. And why can't you just try to do whatever he's telling you to?" She opens the door and I mutter a thank you as we enter the rooftop. No one eats here except for me and Rin. Once upon a time, Rinto was a part of it. He's the only one with access to this place, being president and all.

"I-I don't know. Sometimes I feel like everything's my and his fault at the same time. I didn't even know why he died, how he died and that he was even dying. Heck, _you_ don't." I point my finger to her. "And the hints he's giving me… It's all overwhelming." He thinks people can forget him as easily. It's like he thinks that I can be able to just forget his death and go on a treasure hunt.

"Well he won't find out, but— Uh, Miku?" Rin stiffens beside me, eyes wide and jaw-dropped, like she's seen a ghost.  
"Hm?" I turn to look at where she's looking. . .

There he is.

The shadow of the building besides ours hides his face, but I could see him clearly. His silhouette matches, his height is very much the same. . . and his hair, his hair doesn't have the pins like his sister does, the back of his hair's tied to a small ponytail. But it's him.

The gray eyes, the golden hair, and the lost expression in his eyes—an expression I've only seen once. He's looking at me, and I am trembling. I think he said something, but I didn't hear it.

Rin's presence was the one that snaps me, though. She walks back, turns and dashes off. I don't chase her. My feet are glued to the floor and my eyes are glued to him.

He takes slow strides forward. . . and I could _see_ him. In the flesh. He's not a figment of my imagination, he's not a dream or nightmare, he's not a hallucination conjured from my memories… He's real.

And alive.

_Rinto's alive._

His mouth opens slightly, about to say something, but I run. I run toward him and throw myself to him, holding him as tight as I could. This must be a horrible prank or I'm just hallucinating, but screw it. I am not going to let go. Not now. I hear a snap and the rubber band that's tying his hair falls to the ground.

"Rinto… Rinto…" I say through sobs. "Goddamit Rinto. Don't be an illusion, please. You're alive. You're…" His shoulders stiffen, and he's silent.

Before I could ask him what's wrong, he holds either of my arms and pulls away from me. And that's when I realize: His eyes were blue… and his hair, it's oh-so similar, yet it's not.

"Uh…" His cheeks turn pink and he's averting my gaze, looking at the floor with interest like he's found the secret to immortality "I… I don't know who you are and I'm sorry, but you've got the wrong person."

"No," I snap. "You're him. You're Rinto. _You're Rinto!_"

He shakes his head repeatedly that his head might fall off. "I'm not Rinto… or whoever he is.

I'm Len Kagamine."

* * *

**A/n: Kill me guys I'm running out of ideas.  
I realized that I've been writing more of my own stories than fanfics. I don't know why but it makes me comfortable, like I can be the one to make the personality of my characters… -shrugs- it just sounds fun, or something. Like I can truly express myself when I write my own… Ugh. But I'll still continue this fanfic, won't update every week, though. But I'll still update. And I might update Second Chances in a few weeks time. God, I need to get my game together. I know that the plot's going too fast, and I'll fix it. I promise I will. Somehow...**


End file.
